This is the second in a series of blogs, that I’ll publish over the coming months, focused on how and what you can use to achieve your goals. Which is also part of what we look at in the 5 Day Goal Getting Challenge in my Facebook group. As I said before, I’m not telling you how to live or saying live how I live or do as I do, but if just one paragraph, one sentence or one word helps you, then I feel I’ve done some good in this crazy world.
This blog will focus on personal values, why they’re important, what they are and how they can help you achieve your dreams, goals and ultimately, your own version of success. My blogs, as you know by now, are based around my own experiences, life lessons, personal reflections, my own opinion and journey of positivity and self belief.
Personal values are;
“Reflections of our needs, desires,
and what we care about most in life.
Values are great cohesive forces for our identities,
and can be thought of as decision-making guidelines
that help us connect to our true selves.
Defining your values will help you figure out what to pursue and what to avoid”
Source: Wikihow.com
Your Personal Values
Personal values are instilled in you from a very young age, they are learnt and evolved by your experiences and your upbringing. In adulthood, only really key events can change or make you rethink your values and this is why a lot of us change as we get older. We all experience life changing events, such as, your first heart break, the loss of a loved one, betrayal, failure. These events challenge your existing values and replace them with new ones.
That Year
My early twenties were a particular hard time for me, as I’ve said before and I experienced many hardships, realities and challenges, as most people do. One experience that always sticks with me is the one that I share with my Mum. We call it ‘that year’
My mother and I experienced financial hardship, which ironically was caused by us both trying to better our situations. Emotions ran high and I had come to a head in my life. It was make or break time! If I’m going to be absolutely honest with you, it was the lowest point of my life. It’s when I realised that no-one was going to bail me out, no-one was going to come to my rescue and no-one but me, was going to get me out of that situation.
What ‘that year’ did for me was built up a resilience that I didn’t even know I had! It gave me a point of reference that I never ever in my whole entire life, wanted to go back to again. It gave me strength. I grew up in an age of Destiny’s Child and The Spice Girls; I definitely developed an ‘I don’t need no man!’ attitude and also an ‘I don’t need anyone’
but myself character. My cousin often laughed at my harshness and exclaimed how ‘cold’ I was. However, I got out of the situation, finished university, got my own place and secured the job that, unbeknown to me at the time, would guide my whole entire career path.
So, my point of reference was made. No matter what situation I was in after that, if I couldn’t afford a night on the town, or buy that new top or splash out on the best car, I would always say to myself, “but Serena, remember that year…” and my, self-pitying would cease immediately.
Going back to values; that year I learnt about being resilient. My mental health took a battering, any positive relationships were non-existent and what was important to me before, wasn’t anymore. I was proud that I’d battled through and come out the other side unscathed and stronger and more appreciative for it. I sought out more positive influences, as the negative ones were partly the reason, I got into the mess I was in. I learnt to live without material things, that I heavily felt I needed before. I put more value on relationships and experiences, my true friends and family.
Your values tell you who you are and what is important to you. To recognise them is to understand and know yourself. To do this you must be 100% true to yourself, which I write about in the blog ‘Failing to Do These Three Things Could Be Your Down Fall‘
When delivering Employability Courses, I used to do an exercise which would help people identify their own personal values. This gave them and me an insight, into what was important to them and their (intrinsic) motives, what type of job or career would be fitting for their values. Too often do we look at a job and think how can I fit that person specification? And not the other way around of, how does this job fit with my personal values? which can lead to a great unhappiness, in the place we spend the majority of waking day.
Intrinsic motives, your ‘why factor’, are better suited to you when trying to achieve your dreams, as opposed to extrinsic motives. Intrinsic motives focus on things that make you feel good, make you happy, leave you feeling satisfied or help you grow personally; something that you have a personal connection to. Extrinsic motives, however, are things outside of you, that you use to validate that reason for you to do something. This may include; financial rewards, praise, new clothes, cars, grades etc…
If you’re emotionally connected to your ‘why factor’ and intrinsically motivated, you’re more likely to succeed when the going gets tough.
So, how can you use your values, to help you achieve your goals? By identifying them. This helps you understand what it is you enjoy or hold dear to your heart; your intrinsic motive for doing something. For example, if one of your values is spending time with your family, then doing anything that takes you away from that, is going to upset your life.
If your value is creativity and your dream or goal is based around using logical and straight forward solutions, you may become quickly bored and unsatisfied. It’s only in my later life, I’ve realised that I am equally balanced with creativity and a logical mind, so writing fits me perfectly! I am able to be creative in the way and what I write, whilst following a plan, schedule and using quite practical things like, the word programme I use to do so. So those values aid me, rather than hinder what I do. My resilience which is strongly connected to my experience of ‘that year’ means that I will not be put off by criticism or give up if a door closes in my face. Because I am emotionally connected to why, as they fit strongly with my values.
Below is a list of values that may help you identify your own values.
Ask yourself this question; do your values aid your goals and dreams or do your dreams and goals fit with your own core values?
Adventurous
Ambition
Awareness
Bravery
Caring
Commitment
Compassion
Courageous
Creativity
Dependability
Determination
Discipline
Education
Etiquette
Family
Fitness
Friendships
Growth
Health
Honesty
Humour
Initiative
Innovation
Integrity
Intellect
Kindness
Loyalty
Love
Manners
Organisation
Polite
Positivity
Perseverance
Resilience
Respect
Self-motivation
Sensitive
Trust
Until next time…
Serena x
If you want to get involved in the 5 Day Goal Getting Challenge subscribe to my website by clicking here and request to join the Facebook group, She Believed She Could So She Did.
I’m always grateful of honest feedback, so drop me a comment on my blog or email me your comments and suggestions, for future blog post topics.
She believed she could so she did, Serena believed she could, using your values to achieve your dreams, Serena Rogers, Nottingham, your why factor, journey of positivity and self belief, positivity and self belief are the key to unlocking your potential
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